When Tyler and I told people we were getting married, they, more often than not, had some not so reassuring things to say about the first year of marriage. They were quick to inform us that the first year isn't exactly one they care to reminisce about. Of course we understood that no marriage or relationship is 100% perfect every single day, but to sum up your entire first year of marriage as "rough" or a "doozy" seemed a little crazy to me. As of 12 days ago, Tyler and I have been married for a whole year and with 2017 right around the corner I decided I wanted to put a stop to that stigma and let you in on all of the wonderful, crazy, awesome things that the first year of marriage consists of. Things people don't tell you.
You're going to learn a lot.
Like a lot, a lot. You're going to learn that when you wake your husband up by laughing because he's sleep talking, he's not a happy camper. Even though it's so funny and cute. You'll also learn that he doesn't really snore in his sleep and you'll wonder if this is all too good to be true. You're going to learn that it's nearly impossible to have dinner decided on every single night, much less days ahead of time(or is that just me?). You'll learn which corners of the house are perfect to hide in, in order to pop out and scare them. You'll learn that your husband likes his coffee with literally only one drop of creamer and that he likes to sing in the shower. In all seriousness though, you'll learn how to read each other inside and out. You'll learn every facial expression, tone of voice, and all of their body language. You'll memorize all of their birthmarks and wrinkles, their freckles and laugh lines. Ultimately you'll learn that marriage is an art form and at the risk of sounding cheesy, you two are the artists. How the picture turns out all depends on how patiently you paint it. So, be patient, caring, and kind because love is all of these things.
You're going to shed some tears.
And that's completely okay because life happens and you'll inevitably go through some trying times. You might lose your childhood fur baby because of old age and that's a surefire way to get you down. You'll cry and your husband will shed a few tears with you because losing a pet is hard. He'll understand. He's so great like that. Just try to remember that what you're going through, they're going through too. That's what they signed up for, "for better or for worse." Don't push them away when things go awry, let them be there to lift you up. Now let us not forget about happy tears. I seriously can't tell you how many times Tyler has made me cry from laughing so hard. You'll laugh yourself to tears on your long car rides, while you're out shopping together, during your weekly Sunday breakfast dates and especially when you're deliriously lying in bed together talking about life at 2 in the morning. You'll(most likely.. if you're anything like us)share tears together, most happy, some sad, embrace them. Encourage them. Be vulnerable and love each other through it all.
It's going to be the start of the foundation for which you build the rest of your marriage.
Because of this, it's so important not to rush through it or take any moments for granted. You want to make sure your foundation is sturdy. Our first year of marriage flew by. I mean FLEW. Im okay with that because we enjoyed so much together. We moved to a new city, we traveled a lot, and met some cool people. We made mistakes and cleaned up a lot of messes. Literal messes. At one point I had to mop curry up off of the kitchen floor(If you want to refer back to one of those times I laughed so hard that I cried, this would be one of them) but that's okay because mishaps teach you how to handle life which is never going to be smooth sailing all of the time. Just don't forget that you and your spouse are a team, together you can take on anything.
It's going to be one of the best years of your life.
I say ONE of the best years because while it might be a really great time in your lives, it's only going to get better from here on out. You're going to continuously grow and learn, you'll watch your spouse grow too and you'll wonder how it's even possible to love someone so much. You're going to have so much fun together. You're going to work hard and come home to each other after a long day of school and work just to pass out on the couch while watching FRIENDS. You'll go through all that life has to offer with your most favorite person right by your side. How exciting is that?!
I say all of this just to share with you some of the things I've been blessed to take away from our first year of marriage.
Patience is a virtue. Communication is KEY. Ask questions. Discuss things. Discuss everything. Never make assumptions. Never stop dating. Keep each other informed. Don't keep secrets. Be selfless. Never selfish. Last but not least, make the decision to love each other unconditionally every. single. day.
Until next time,
-MC ♥
"We ate well and cheaply and drank well and cheaply and slept well and warm together and loved each other"- Earnest Hemingway, 'A Moveable Feast'
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